I know I cussed you out last year, but are you accepting preschool applicants?

Anyone who knows me as a parent knows I’m a little crazy. I blame it on a combination of postpartum anxiety, my very Italian family and a short list of childhood disappointments.

After my son was born, my postpartum anxiety subsided, and I began venturing out of the confinements of our home, I found myself feeling a need to get back to the gym. Most of my other mom friends had made that leap much sooner than I had and I felt ready.

The problem wasn’t just leaving my baby for an hour or two (something I had extreme trouble with) it was leaving him in the gym daycare with people he (and I) didn’t know.

Sure, they had windows for me to peak through, the staff all had background checks and a good reputation, and it was a good opportunity for both he and I to be around other people. Apparently other human beings existed, it wasn’t just the two of us, although it seemed that way for a really long time.

I tried dropping him off, I really did. A few times. But he screamed and cried and was so confused. I just knew he thought I was gone forever. Even when the woman holding him tried to shield me from his view and another woman shooed me towards the actually workout area to let me know all was going to be ok, I just couldn’t.

I went back twice after less than 10 minutes and went home. Trying to focus on the stair master or elliptical was impossible when my heart was racing and swear I could hear him cry. I couldn’t get his little face out of my mind and really, who needed to get rid of the mom-gut anyway?

So I waited another couple months and decided to try another branch, the same branch my friend was bringing her twin girls to (who were a few months younger than Chase).

I gave the very friendly (and patient) staff a long list of instructions including not to let him cry and to please come get me or call me if he did. They agreed and were really excited to see me finally walk out.

I left, reluctantly, and tried not to cringe when one of the staff took his teether from me, holding the part he chewed on with her fingers.

I got on the stair master, put my Pandora station on DMX radio (“X Gon Give it to Ya” really gets me going) and made sure I was facing the entrance in case one of them came to get me.

They never did.

After 30 minutes, I decided enough was enough and I had to go see my baby.

As I walked out of the cardio room and down the hall towards the daycare I heard a baby screaming and just knew it was my son. It’s one of those things only a mom can tell from far away. A man would never pick up on that, not any man I know, anyway.

I picked up the pace and ran into the room and sure enough, there was my son, being held by one of the male staff members at the front desk, away from all the other children. He was crying so hard and had been for so long that he couldn’t catch his breath and had that quick, panicky, puffy breathing thing going on. You know the one.

When I grabbed him and held him, I started tearing up, too.

“Dammit. I knew I shouldn’t have done this. Mother _ _ _ _ #$%. Son of…”

Well, you get it. I was pissed.

I looked around and a few staff members were standing close by and I asked why the hell no one had come to get me? Why had no one called? I was stepping away like an idiot thinking my baby was happy and I came back to this. I was infuriated, actually. They had reassured me they would never let him cry more than a few minutes to get adjusted and would absolutely come get me if he didn’t.

Chase had to be removed from the actual play area because he was causing the other children to worry! Maybe I’m overreacting but my blood was boiling, I was so upset, I yelled at everyone, told them how unacceptable this was and stormed out.

They explained that they were LITERALLY about to come get me and he hadn’t been crying like that for very long. I wasn’t buying it.

I demanded to speak to the manager. Not the manager of the daycare, the manager of the whole building.

This woman was going to remember me.

I made such a fuss, was crying, grasping my son and made sure everyone around me heard about it.

I made such a scene that other parents walking in with strollers stopped to listen. I think they thought something catastrophic had happened in the baby room.

I cancelled my membership right then and there and if all of that wasn’t enough, came home and wrote a pretty lengthy email to the CEO. She wrote me back almost immediately and was really understanding and apologetic. Girl was good. You don’t climb the ladder without calming a few bitches down.

Jump to a year and a half later. I’ve had my second baby and my first is getting ready to start thinking about preschool possibilities and I still haven’t worked out more than the 15 squats I did in December and that one Yoga video on YouTube

They have forgotten about the crazy lady (although I’m still pissed) and I hear they have a wonderful facility!

I’m going to take a tour of the preschool next week. I just have a pretty important decision to make before then.

Red Sox hat or the cute blue and white one with the anchor? I think the one with the anchor hides my face a little better.

34 Weeks of bliss and list of things I miss

Can a girl get a glass of vino over here?? Hello? Table for 1, bottle of petite sirah, please! I have to admit, and it’s no secret, I adore my wine!! It’s my drink of choice and I look forward to it at the end of my day. A glass while I cook dinner and a glass while I enjoy the dish I’ve prepared is my own little routine and tradition. I also really enjoy having some wine with my girlfriends, bringing a bottle of wine down to the beach, having a date night with my husband, enjoying some wine with a great Sunday dinner, etc. etc.

Gym stuff! I actually miss the stair master and working up a good sweat. It just got way too hard, too much pressure on my belly, the baby sits (or jumps) on my bladder and exercising became extremely uncomfortable. I miss classes, equipment, the sauna, all of it. I think I miss feeling like I’ve pushed myself physically and like I’ve accomplished something to better myself and contribute to my health.

That being said, feeling the baby move all around in my belly makes me feel extremely healthy and accomplished. I love knowing he’s active and growing. I’m ok letting myself rest so this little prince can grow and do a little exercising of his own!

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CAFFEINE!! Truth be told, I do drink 50/50 coffee every morning (half decaf, half regular) but I could seriously use a double espresso frappuccino BUT I’m sure I’ll need one more than ever in about a month and 1/2 and that’s when I can and WILL get one!

BRUNCH!!!! I am dying for a bagel with lox and a mimosa! Brunch isn’t “brunch” without a mimosa (or bloody Mary) in my opinion. Preferably a mimosa bar with raspberries. Yes.

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Spicy tuna!! like brunch, sushi isn’t “sushi” without raw fish. You can pretend with shrimp tempura and California rolls, but it’s just make believe until you can have the real thing.

wp-1473985029252.jpgAll that being said, look at this bump! My son is in there and I can feel him moving around and growing/learning/developing all the time! I can’t wait to finally meet this little guy and see what he looks like, who he resembles, and watch him grow into his own little person.

He already loves certain things and dislikes others. he’s really strong and already stubborn. When nurses try to listen to his heartbeat with the Doppler, he moves away. This has happened several times and they all comment on it! The other day, I was putting grocery bags in the car and hit my belly with one by accident (not hard, but enough that the baby felt it). No sooner did the bag bump my belly, did he punch right back! It was so instantaneous and so purposeful that I burst out laughing and had to call my husband to tell him his son has some reflexes!

This baby loves the sound of his dad’s voice. My husband (for anyone who doesn’t know him) is extremely charismatic and boisterous. You know when he’s in the room! When he’s telling a story, the baby moves around a lot in excitement. He jumps around and wiggles. Then when my husband speaks softly to my belly, the baby calms right down and relaxes. It’s the sweetest thing. I don’t know anything for sure, only God does, but I have a feeling this little boy is going to be his father’s mini me…