The Best Thing I’ve Ever Done

People say it all the time. You don’t know love until you have a child. Well, I knew what love was. My parents, my grandparents, my husband, my siblings. But you don’t know pure love, love without consequence or ultimatum. Love without boundaries or limits until you have a child.

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If you told me 10 years ago to just hold on. Just wait. Life will make sense again. Maybe I would have lived a little differently. But I would literally change not one thing up until the moment I conceived Chase. He was always meant to be.

If you have children, I don’t have to explain how this feels. You don’t want to envision a world where they don’t exist. What was I doing before I had him? I was binge-watching Netflix, going to the gym, doing laundry and trying to be skinnier, prettier, happier.

Little did I know how little everything else would matter after I was blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I laugh now (9 1/2 months later) at what was concerning me even up until Chase was born. After 6 weeks I was going to return to the gym. At least 2-3 times a week (hahahahahahaha)!!!!!! I think I’ve been to the gym a total of 3 times in almost 10 months. I’m sorry to anyone who has to look at me in a bathing suit BUT I’d honestly rather play with my son.

I took Chase with me to the gym and attempted to drop him off at the daycare for at least 30 minutes while I did some cardio. He screamed and cried when I handed him over and I kept going back to check on him through the glass wall. He was so unhappy and confused. I took him back and told the nice caretaker that it just wasn’t worth it to me. I didn’t need to work out that badly. She explained that it was totally normal for him to have that reaction but to keep coming back so he could get used to it (I will) but then she leaned in and whispered “I like what you said, though”. “What did I say?” I asked. “That working out isn’t that important”. I grabbed my baby who was now smiling in my arms as I hugged and kissed him and went home to play. The gym will be there tomorrow, but he won’t always be this little

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I am not proud of the person I was for most of my 20’s. I didn’t realize how selfish and self involved I was. I thought mostly only of myself and how things effected me. Was something convenient for me or was something too hard. What was the most fun and lets do that. It wasn’t until I became someone else’s whole world that I grasped how different I would become and how it would just be a natural reaction to motherhood. Selfishness is not in a mother’s vocabulary, at least it shouldn’t be.

I’m not talking about taking time for yourself (which I am only now realizing how important that is) but who you are as a mother. Like my husband says, if you have the best intensions for your child, you’re doing a good job.

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I don’t deserve Chase, I shouldn’t even be alive. Between asthma attacks leaving me intubated or a car accident leaving me without a dear friend and in ICU for weeks, I understand now why God kept me here, I was always meant to be Chase’s mother.

You don’t realize the magnitude of love you feel and how you are completely humbled by God’s grace until you become a parent. That goes for adoptive parents, step-parents, grand-parents, etc. There are always things in life you wish you could change or at least have a crystal ball to see into the future but I seem to forget everything else when I hear my baby laugh or he puts his head on my shoulder.

What would I do without this little angel of mine? Now that I have him, picturing my life without him is crippling. 

As I’ve said in previous posts, I had pretty bad anxiety after he was born, so holding him a lot made me feel calm and that I was keeping him safe and forming a strong bond. 

Everyone has their opinions so I heard a lot of “You need to put that baby down!”

Why? Why do I need to put him down? I don’t have any other children to take care of, the house is a mess, but I have a feeling that isn’t going to change any time soon, should I be worried he won’t go off to college some day because I held him too much as a baby? 

My cousin sent me a quote a couple months back that read:

“‘I wish I had held my baby less’ – Said no mother, ever”. 

Did I have a hard time with napping because I held Chase while he slept for most of his infancy? Yes. Do I regret it? Hell, no. Your baby will only be tiny for such a short time. 

I remember posting a picture like this and someone commented “Oh, I miss my son letting me snuggle him like that!” And I thought to myself: Her son is still a baby! But it’s true, they don’t stay that little for very long and before you know it, they won’t want you to hold them and rock them. You’ll have to chase them to try and steal a quick hug. 

These moments are so precious and sometimes I have had to pee so badly I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time! (I told you I’d be honest) but when my baby needs to be soothed, he looks to me for comfort. When he gets hurt or if he’s tired or hungry, he looks for me and knows I’m there to take his worries away. What a gift. 




There truly is no greater love.

My body has been invaded (or what 38 weeks feels like).

Ok so everyone talks about how you get to a point in your pregnancy where you just can’t take it anymore. I thought I understood what they meant at about 36 weeks…I was wrong. 2 more weeks went by and I feel more like a prop in a sci-fi movie than a human being.

This baby, whom I can’t wait to meet, has been growing inside of me for over 9 months. For a while, no one could tell. Then there was a tiny little baby bump and that pregnancy “glow”. There are, of course, uncomfortable times and lifestyle changes to get used to like not drinking wine anymore and not being able to take the same classes at the gym. Yet those adjustments aside, and the woes of the 1st trimester sickness having subsided, life goes on as usual. You work out in some way, if that’s part of your routine, you move around easily enough and work continues. You go about your day, errands and move along.

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As your belly grows, people start asking you all the routine questions: “When are you due?” “Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?” “How are you feeling?” etc. But then it hits you. You wake up in the middle of the night to pee (yet again), and your body suddenly feels like you’ve been in a serious car accident. Your back is in so much pain, you swear you had been rear ended. Your feet are so sore you think you must have blocked out running a marathon the day before, your fingers are so swollen, your wedding band won’t fit over your knuckle, and this little angel you’re carrying in your belly can move around so much because they’re somewhere around 7 lbs and SMOOSHED in there that you can actually see them moving around from the outside. What it feels like INSIDE is a WHOLE different story.

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My body has been invaded. My belly feels stretched beyond it’s limits and it hurts. I have a baby foot in my ribs and a head resting on my bladder. This baby is losing room and MUST be uncomfortable by now and my body MUST have taken all it can possibly take in 38 weeks and 3 days.

I have never done well in uncomfortable situations. I am a very particular person when it comes to having things the way I like them for myself. I don’t sleep well with others. I have never enjoyed sleepovers, they give me anxiety. We have to have a King sized bed so the 2 of us can co-sleep (meaning my husband and I) because I wake up when someone touches me. I get really hot at night and like to sleep in the cold, but with several blankets to stay warm. I have to sleep with white noise and fresh air, so I use a fan. Not a ceiling fan, a fan right by my face, blowing air at me directly. I understand this won’t work with a newborn, so I’ve gotten used to a humidifier that blows air right by my head to prepare for baby’s arrival. I like to shower twice a day because I don’t like the feeling of being “dirty” even though you’re not really “dirty” after a normal 12 hour day. After I shower, I have to have toner, serum and moisturizer on my face right away before it dehydrates or gets itchy. I have to use body lotion right away for the same reason and it has to be enough time before bed or my body is too sticky and it makes the sheets in the bed feel yukky. I have to have my nails and toenails clipped way down because I feel like dirt and other disgusting elements get caked underneath and it gives me the heebie jeebies. Those have to be clipped over the toilet. I always speak up if I’m too hot or too cold. Anywhere. It can be home, at work, etc. I can’t stand being too hot and sweaty. I also can’t stand being too cold and uncomfortable. I love fresh air so I’m constantly opening windows and doors. I love the breeze. If we’re at someone’s house and they have everything closed and it’s a beautiful day, I’ll just go outside or take it upon myself to crack a door. I’ll be that person.I can’t stand being sick, so I don’t get sick. If someone around me comes down with something, I put gloves on, bleach and Lysol EVERYTHING and take lots of Emergency to avoif it any way possible. I take detox baths and stay away from that person altogether.I’ll quarantine myself. Any ill feeling is too much for me to handle, I can’t stand it. I am one of those people who never gets sick beause the feeling is just too much. I’m giving you all these examples of what probably make me sound OCD, or just particularly bitchy so you can understand what being this big and uncomfortable in my own skin (which I’m sharing) feels like to me. I can’t fix it or adjust it to my liking at all. I just have to sit back and accept that I am uncomfortable.

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Now I am at the point where I’m ready. The nursery is ready, we are stocked up with diapers and wipes, swaddles, a bassinet, a rocker, stroller, car seat, crib, clothes, bottles and pacifiers, books and little keepsakes, new shelves and dresser, a rocking chair and lots of plush blankets and lovies. I felt so unprepared for so many months just thinking of the list of baby items we needed and list of things to get done prior to his arrival, but now that they’re done, the hospital bag is packed and ready to go, I’m just waiting. Waiting for one of those practice contractions to be the real thing or my water to break. Just waiting. I’m so excited and scared. I can’t wait to finally hold this little wiggly guy and tell him how thankful I am to even be able to carry him at all in the first place and how grateful I am that God gave me a son. How I’ll forever be attached to him, even if he’s not in my belly anymore and how for the rest of my life I will be a mother who will literally do anything for her son, even if it costs me something I wouldn’t have given up before. I want to tell him I waited a long time to have him and will probably worship the very ground he walks on. He just needs to come out so I can tell him:)

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34 Weeks of bliss and list of things I miss

Can a girl get a glass of vino over here?? Hello? Table for 1, bottle of petite sirah, please! I have to admit, and it’s no secret, I adore my wine!! It’s my drink of choice and I look forward to it at the end of my day. A glass while I cook dinner and a glass while I enjoy the dish I’ve prepared is my own little routine and tradition. I also really enjoy having some wine with my girlfriends, bringing a bottle of wine down to the beach, having a date night with my husband, enjoying some wine with a great Sunday dinner, etc. etc.

Gym stuff! I actually miss the stair master and working up a good sweat. It just got way too hard, too much pressure on my belly, the baby sits (or jumps) on my bladder and exercising became extremely uncomfortable. I miss classes, equipment, the sauna, all of it. I think I miss feeling like I’ve pushed myself physically and like I’ve accomplished something to better myself and contribute to my health.

That being said, feeling the baby move all around in my belly makes me feel extremely healthy and accomplished. I love knowing he’s active and growing. I’m ok letting myself rest so this little prince can grow and do a little exercising of his own!

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CAFFEINE!! Truth be told, I do drink 50/50 coffee every morning (half decaf, half regular) but I could seriously use a double espresso frappuccino BUT I’m sure I’ll need one more than ever in about a month and 1/2 and that’s when I can and WILL get one!

BRUNCH!!!! I am dying for a bagel with lox and a mimosa! Brunch isn’t “brunch” without a mimosa (or bloody Mary) in my opinion. Preferably a mimosa bar with raspberries. Yes.

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Spicy tuna!! like brunch, sushi isn’t “sushi” without raw fish. You can pretend with shrimp tempura and California rolls, but it’s just make believe until you can have the real thing.

wp-1473985029252.jpgAll that being said, look at this bump! My son is in there and I can feel him moving around and growing/learning/developing all the time! I can’t wait to finally meet this little guy and see what he looks like, who he resembles, and watch him grow into his own little person.

He already loves certain things and dislikes others. he’s really strong and already stubborn. When nurses try to listen to his heartbeat with the Doppler, he moves away. This has happened several times and they all comment on it! The other day, I was putting grocery bags in the car and hit my belly with one by accident (not hard, but enough that the baby felt it). No sooner did the bag bump my belly, did he punch right back! It was so instantaneous and so purposeful that I burst out laughing and had to call my husband to tell him his son has some reflexes!

This baby loves the sound of his dad’s voice. My husband (for anyone who doesn’t know him) is extremely charismatic and boisterous. You know when he’s in the room! When he’s telling a story, the baby moves around a lot in excitement. He jumps around and wiggles. Then when my husband speaks softly to my belly, the baby calms right down and relaxes. It’s the sweetest thing. I don’t know anything for sure, only God does, but I have a feeling this little boy is going to be his father’s mini me…

What Happens When…

There’s a lot that happens throughout your pregnancy that doctors won’t tell you…or maybe there’s just too many possibilities for them to warn you about, so here’s a few examples of what CAN and what HAS happened in mine so far:

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FLY PREGNANT

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There used to be an ankle there… We went home to Boston for my baby shower at 28 weeks pregnant and had 2 flights within 48 hours. I was given the OK by my OBGYN with special instruction to make sure I got up and walked around at least once every hour or so. With an hour and a half flight, I got up to use the bathroom once, but who can really move around easily on a plane? When we landed, I lifted my pant leg to see both my ankles were completely swollen, one of which was barely there at all!

This happens because of strained circulation, especially on the lower limbs. When we got home, I elevated my legs, had my husband rub my feet (bonus!) and put ice on my ankles to try and reduce swelling. The next day, they still hadn’t gone down all the way and even my most comfortable shoes didn’t fit! That’s when this happened:

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I traded in my Jack Rogers and Sperry sandals for Padded. Nike. Flip Flops. They were the only shoes I could find that were comfortable, fit over my kankles and had some kind of gel padded Heaven happening on the soles of my feet. Admittedly, I felt like a high school soccer player or a mother of 3 who has officially thrown in the towel…but I GET it! These things are amazing and I’m keeping them forever.

FINALLY GIVING UP THE TREADMILL

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If I look happy in this picture, it’s because I had just gotten home from the gym and made the inevitable decision to quit. I quit the gym. Well, I quit my go-to cardio, walking at an incline on the treadmill. I first gave up on Body Pump during my second trimester. Then came the end of the stair-master because I couldn’t breathe. Now I’ve called it quits on the treadmill because I constantly have to PEE!!! So I go to the bathroom before I leave the house, then I get to the gym (a 7 minute drive) and use the ladies room again before I get on the treadmill and then I start walking and my little baby decides to JUMP and JUMP and JUMP on my bladder. I don’t know what actually happens but I think he sits really low while I’m being active and it puts SO much pressure on my belly and bladder. It is beyond uncomfortable and finally, just not worth it.

I have tried yoga, don’t love it, but plan on trying a prenatal yoga class this week. From what I have gathered from other experienced mommies, prenatal yoga is a lot of stretching and breathing. I could use some of both, so I’ll try it, but I also love some movement so I tried an “aquasize” class at the gym last week and actually really liked it! First of all, I was the only woman under the age of 70. You know what that means? I was the pregnant youngster and everyone was like a makeshift Nonna for the hour. All of these lovely ladies were so sweet and helpful and even invited me to lunch!! PLUS, being in the water relieved some pressure on my belly and it’s actually a decent workout, especially when they incorporate water weights and dumbbells. So if I do workout these last 2 months, this will probably be my new go-to.

YOUR BELLY BECOMES BIGGER THAN YOU THINK

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Yes, this is my husband’s old t-shirt, yes, it is August and I’m wearing snowflake pajama pants and YES, these are stains and no, I don’t know what they’re from. I had plopped my ass on my “pregnancy chair” (or loveseat that I have claimed) and looked down to discover some new stains. I am constantly bumping into things and spilling things all over myself. Sometimes I try to smell them to see if there’s any familiarity or recollection….and the baby isn’t even here yet! I stopped caring.

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I started finding little patches of flaky, itchy skin on my body, had my doctor take a look and she said I had eczema. Being an esthetician, I figured that’s what it was but I had never had it before and being pregnant, you never know. I didn’t know if I had developed a food allergy or had some kind of contact dermatitis. The spot that really bothers me the most is under my wedding rings! It is itchy, flaky, red and irritated all the time. The only time it clears up is when I take my rings off at night and smother my hand in cocoa butter, coconut oil, or hydrocortisone and leave it alone while I sleep. Because I use my hands so much for work, I constantly wash them and soap, water, and lotion gets stuck underneath and cause irritation, not helping the eczema.

We give up a lot of our independence and sexy feminism during pregnancy, so I’ll be dammed if I have to give up my  wedding rings too! I’m leaving them on until my finger gets too fat and circulation becomes a serious issue!

Stay strong and happy, ladies!!

 

The Sh%! They Expect Of You

Pregnancy can be an amazing experience. Between the kicks and flutters in your belly to the adorable sonogram images and watching your belly grow, releasing the comfort of knowing your little one is healthy, pregnancy certainly has it’s WOW and AWWW moments!

It would be great if it were all sunshine and glitter every day, but then the reality of expectation creeps in and it’s not enough to just sit and eat ice cream in your husband’s pajamas, binge watching your favorite Netflix series..

Just when you think you’ve got this thing figured out, people start asking you how many pediatricians you’ve interviewed and who you picked for your maternity photo shoot. Is it horrible that I DON’T want to do a maternity photo shoot?? There are literally 3 pictures of me pregnant that I think look really good! I just don’t feel all that cute right this second, sorry. I know there will be pictures of me from my baby showers and some from vacation and a friend’s wedding that I’ll look back and always remember this time, I don’t need someone putting me in different poses with my husband trying to get his arms around my belly by a log cabin or beach somewhere. And no, I haven’t “interviewed” a single pediatrician…yet.

Speaking of photo shoots, I think the creative newborn pictures are adorable and all, but I assume by the time I have the energy to search for a talented and affordable photographer to help me get my baby “milk drunk” enough to squish him into a cute little bum-up pose, the baby will be picking out his kindergarten snacks. THEN you have to get them made into Christmas cards and mail them out to all your friends and family in time for them to hang proudly on a window sill or under a bunch of other cards from overzealous moms showing off their beautiful family photos like personal accolades. I can’t. Ours will show up sometime between Easter and 4th of July…next year, most likely.

As far as registries go, who the hell has the time for all that research?! If you google “best pack and plays” you get 1500 websites claiming to have the best lists, from safety to affordability and quotes from moms all over the world saying why they love/hate certain brands. It’s all a little overwhelming and confusing. Everyone has an opinion but none seem to be the same…If you ask your friends and family with little ones, not only do they have different ideas, but some of the things they say they NEVER used are the EXACT same things someone else swears they wouldn’t have made it through the 1st few months without!! I’m going to head into this like I do most things: Trial and Error. Live and Learn. The baby will tell me (loud and clear) when he’s unhappy and hopefully sleep when he’s comfortable. I pray Target takes returns and exchanges with rips and tears.

Entertaining the drunkies. Who has time for this? Weather you’re listening to your husband tell you the same story for the 9th time after a bottle of mouth-watering petite sirah that you couldn’t enjoy with him or you go to a friend’s mid-summer cookout and try to look sympathetic while she cries with red wine lips over her annoying boyfriend while you hold the King-sized ruffled chip bag in one hand and a half eaten s’more in the other, nodding along wondering if this is how you normally sound. Answer: you do. There’s just never a sober bystander to witness it.

Here’s my advice for anyone in the same boat: Do your thing, girl. If you want to ditch all responsibilities on a Tuesday and get a pedicure, do it! If you make not one but two ice cream stops in one day, go for it. If your husband insisted on having people over to watch the game and you’ve literally had enough and just can’t anymore, excuse yourself and go to bed, put on the Real Housewives and lock the damn door, I seriously hear you. Just do it and who cares. If you are pregnant with your second child and have a little one running around that you need to take care of…you are a hero and rock star and I tip my hat to you. Cheers!

 

 

 

Excited, Annoyed, and Grumpy. 24 Weeks!!

So I’m creeping up to 24 weeks pregnant and am feeling it!! A lot has been happening that’s new and exciting and I am so over everything that is going on outside of my growing little prince! My baby has been moving around a lot and I LOVE it! Kicking and punching his way around my insides and waking me up/keeping me from falling asleep.

ENTER THE “PUFF”

I started feeling puffy last week (started at 23 weeks) when I look in the mirror and my slender face is fading, leaving me with a nice little layer of “puff”, which has always been something I’m self-conscious about and try like hell to get rid of. In the 1st trimester when I was sick and hadn’t drank in about a month, my face started to slim down, which was great! A plus to feeling like crap! Then I got my appetite back and came the 2nd trimester along with more energy. This happy “glow” lasted up until I believe, last week, and enter the puff. Thank God for maternity clothes , I’m keeping these pants for every holiday well after the baby is born! Now I don’t feel so cute in pictures anymore, like this one, which looked much different in my mind when we were taking it:

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NO MORE WEIGHTS, THANKS!

So I was trying to go to Body Pump or incorporating weights in my workout routine for the entirety of the 2nd trimester and that, too, came to a halt last week. I was using 8-12 lb. dumbbells to do various lunges, squats and arm exercises. I would do each muscle group for 60 seconds and then take a 60 second break and try to do at least 3 rounds of each. This became pretty difficult last week when I got really out of breath and overly tired. I decided this new beautiful surprise of cellulite on my legs wasn’t going away with squats or lunges during pregnancy. I’m throwing in the towel when it comes to weights and sticking to my power walks and stair master. I still love cardio, and it makes me feel really good. I do a 3.5 mile loop around my neighborhood, making sure to hit a few steep hills, or I walk at an incline on the treadmill if it’s raining or too hot (it’s been in the high 90’s and humid here in the south!) This was my last Body Pump pic right before the “puff” began to show:

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GIVE ME ALL THE FOODS:

I have always loved food! Growing up in an Italian family, we were always making and eating delicious food and I enjoyed every bite! I have “dieted” most of my adult life, until I was getting ready to get married and started my Paleo diet. That was truly the best I’ve ever looked or felt. Eating MOSTLY paleo and 3 Body Pump classes per week plus 1 day of cardio got me looking and feeling my most toned and slim. I gave up all the treats I love including bread and pasta and supplementing them with zucchini noodles and sweet potatoes. Well, thanks to this little boy growing in my belly and the fact that I can’t indulge on wine anymore, I’m eating all the yummy foods I love and crave including my FAVORITE chocolate croissants and ice cream sundaes. I still read labels, try to avoid preservatives, bleached flour, high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors, white sugar and try to stick to milk/butter without rBGH (a genetically engineered artificial hormone given to cows to force excess milk production), whole grain pasta (when I can), fresh farm eggs and lots of fresh fruit and veggies. When I buy ice cream and sundae toppings, I try to get hormone/antibiotic-free ice cream with the least amount of ingredients, I like to whip my own cream and get an all-natural hot fudge. Is it great for me? Hell no, but it’s MUCH better than all the other crap they put in our food! If I’m going to gain weight and eat the treats I want, I don’t want to add chemicals that my child will have in his system too!

MY HUSBAND IS TRYING TO KILL ME:

Have you every been pregnant? Did your spouse or significant other “forget” that you’re no longer super woman? Mine forgets. For instance, just tonight, I was grilling some pork chops and roasted vegetables and the gas went out (so annoying) half way through! My husband wasn’t home yet, so I turned the broiler on in the oven and grabbed my trusty cast iron skillet to finish the job (they came out perfect, by the way). When he got home, my husband proclaimed “You know we have another gas tank in the shed! Why didn’t you just get that?” Um….because it’s like 20 lbs. and the shed is way in the back corner of the back yard?! I’m 6 months pregnant?! “Oh, yeah.” Did I mention I have absolutely no patience anymore and the simple act of putting groceries away can result in a meltdown if the broccoli falls out of the bag while you try to bend over in a way that doesn’t hurt your belly? People who have never been pregnant seriously don’t know the struggle. Maybe I can best describe it as a constant built-up anxiety attack coupled with a ravenous hunger that can only be satisfied by eating all the cookies fresh off the hot cookie sheet and milk straight from the carton while having an overwhelming happiness and love for someone I’ve never met but somehow know and complete loss of control of my body and its’ functions. Putting clean sheets on the king-sized bed becomes so frustrating you could literally kill… There you go, now you go get the damn propane tank and you can put it right up….

EMBRACING MY CRUNCHY:

Being pregnant has given me a maternal instinct to live longer. I buy all natural SPF 50 without phenoxyethanol and apply liberally when by the pool or beach, organic, DEET-free bug spray  and have started making all my own cosmetics including belly butter using unrefined cocoa butter, my own moisturizer using organic argan oil and aloe and diaper rash cream using zinc and witch hazel. I love farmer’s markets and locally grown produce. I’ve started using organic makeup and much less of it. I don’t dye my hair anymore and am trying to embrace the roots! No more tanning products and I make my own body bronzer that washes off with soap and water. My head hurts from reading labels of products and ingredients and googling those I don’t know. Making our baby registry was beyond stressful trying to make sure all baby products were all natural or organic and looking up ingredients in them as well, baby mattress included. There are so many harsh chemicals and toxic ingredients in SO many daily products, I advise anyone having a baby or a curious mom to start really reading what goes into the products we’re putting into our bodies and those of our children who don’t have a choice of their own!

Till next time 😉

 

Don’t Throw Those Bananas Away!

As I said before, when in doubt, make your own…and have I ever! From banana nut breads to blueberry muffins and mixed berry crisp with vanilla bean ice cream, I’ve been having myself a good old time over here:)

Here’s a recipe I’ve been craving and finally made, because as I have discovered, my little boy loves his sweets! He wiggles when I eat delicious sweet treats!

Here’s what I did:

Preheat oven to 350

  • 3 Ripe Bananas (organic, if you can)
  • 2 Eggs (pasture raised/cage-free)
  • 2 Cups Flour (unbleached)
  • 3/4 tsp. Sea Salt
  • 1 tsp. Baking Soda
  • 1/2 tsp. Baking Powder
  • 1/2 Cup Softened Butter (grass fed)
  • 1 Cup Pure Cane Sugar (with a little extra for topping)
  • 1 Cup Chopped Walnuts

Mix all dry ingredients together. In a separate bowl, mix butter, eggs and bananas (I leave the bananas a little bit lumpy). Gradually mix in all dry ingredients and finally add the walnuts. Pour into your greased and floured loaf pan, sprinkle a little extra sugar on top and bake for 50-55 min.

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