We haven’t actually spoken in 4 months, but can I vent for a minute?

I’ve made it no secret that living far away from my family and friends I grew up with is not easy.

Being married and having children can be, shall we say “Trying”? at times, and for some reason, most of us are afraid to share these difficult moments, days, weeks, MONTHS with each other.

Living in the south, I have found this especially true. There’s a certain level of politeness and there’s a façade of happiness wherever you go and whomever you may speak to.

Sure, anyone who’s married and/or has children will chuckle and say something along the lines of “motherhood isn’t easy!” Or “being married has its challenges!”

But what I’m looking for is more along the lines of “I think I might murder my cocky-ass husband in his sleep tonight unless someone gives me a Xanax.” Or “Is it normal for a 6 month old to scream like her crib is on fire when there’s NOTHING wrong? Someone help me!”

Why are we afraid to say what’s really going on?

I was sitting down in the break room at my old job shortly after I got married and just said quite plainly “I hate him. I really just HATE him” and everyone just kind of looked at me with either judgement or pity, I couldn’t quite make out there expressions. All I knew was, I was alone.

“No?” I asked. “No one else? We all love our husbands?” Ok. Noted. No further outbursts from me.

All I wanted was someone else to look at me and say “Girl, me too”. That’s it.

Which is why I rely on about 3 or 4 friends I have back home who have known me and been through growing pains with me who I can call or text out of nowhere and just VENT. No judgement.

I can say things like “Remind me why we got married?” And I’ll get something back like “I’ve been wondering the same F-ing thing all week”. Or “You’re asking ME? I just told him to jump out of a moving car.” Simple. Honest. Real.

Some days, I have no patience and no more fucks left to give. Moments where if I didn’t have children, I’d walk out the front door and do whatever the hell I wanted for a week until I missed my life and drove back.

But I do have babies and responsibilities and I can’t just walk out and find a Blues Traveler concert tour to follow.

Thank God for the girls I can text with any amount of momentary meltdowns and thank God they all share the same thoughts and feelings I have.

If you feel like venting right this second, feel free to comment below and say whatever the hell you want! The more, the merrier.

If you’re too embarrassed to share, that’s fine too, just know you’re not alone. You’re doing a great job and the genuinely happy moments, days, months are there too. We all have them! The good, the bad, the trying.

Even the most polite people with good hair and well-blended makeup have thoughts of running away (and some actually WILL when they’re 47 and can’t stand the façade that they’re feet don’t hurt in those BCBG heels).

Don’t be that girl. Wear your Toms. Text your girls. Have a glass of Prosecco.

Mini Paleo Fig Muffins With Vanilla Frosting

These are THE YUMMIEST muffins ever!! I got the great idea from “Eat Drink Paleo”

I made a few modifications, but didn’t use their topping recipe at all. I wanted something creamy and less sweet, so I made the paleo frosting, which is SO good and makes these muffins a real treat for dessert or with a cup of coffee in the morning (I did both:)

MUFFINS:

  • Palm Shortening to grease the muffin tins
  • 1/2 Cup Water (to soften figs)
  • 6 ounces of dried figs (about 3/4 cup or 10-12 figs)
  • 1 1/2 Ripe Banana
  • 3 Tbs. Coconut Flour
  • 2 Eggs
  • 1 Tbs. Vanilla Extract
  • 1/2 tsp. Baking Powder

Preheat oven to 365. Grease your muffin tins with the palm shortening. Cut the little stems off of the figs and put them in a small pan with the water. Heat on medium until they begin to enlarge and soften while you prepare the rest of your ingredients (stir occasionally).

In your food processor, combine the eggs, bananas, coconut flour, vanilla and baking powder. Blend on high until completely smooth. Remove the figs from the heat, take them out of the water and add to the other mixture in the food processor. Pulse on high again a few times until the figs are blended evenly in the batter.

Pour the batter in 6 of the cupcake holders (I add water in the empty holders). Bake for 22 minutes and allow to cool.

FROSTING:

  • 1/2 Cup Palm Shortening
  • 1/4 Cup Honey
  • 1 tsp. Vanilla Extract
  • 2 Tbs. Arrowroot Powder
  • 2 Tbs. Coconut Flour
  • 1/8th tsp. Salt (I used pink Himalayan sea salt)
  • 2 Tbs. Melted Coconut Oil
  • 2 tsp. Cashew Milk

In your mixing bowl, combine all ingredients except for the coconut oil and cashew milk. Blend on high speed until the batter becomes thick, like frosting. Turn the mixer to low and slowly add the coconut oil and cashew milk until blended completely.

Once the muffins have cooled a little bit (you don’t want the frosting to melt off) lather your preferred amount of frosting on each.

If you want to get REAL crazy in the morning, enjoy these with a mimosa, minus the O.J.